Saturday, October 13, 2012

Learning to Live Again Update

So here I sit looking at the screen and wondering where to start.

I have recieved many nice (and some not so nice) inquiries into why I haven't updated Learning to Live Again in months. It was never my style to write a story and not update regularly and commit to finishing it, but this time fiction and reality have overlapped rather closely.

For those of you that followed the story, at the end of the last posted chapter the adorable Miss Sophie was in danger of losing her beloved Miniature Horse, Daisy. While this was only a small plot device to show how truly calous and self-centered Alice was, the reality of having a sick pony hit me hard.

A few years ago I rescued a Mini of my own who I named Sophie after a particularly soapy bath to get rid of the dirt and pests covering her. And while she was a grey ball of fiery attitude, she was still adorable. At 44" tall she had more personality than some horses three times her size. She was the rock that kept my nervous gelding grounded, the babysitter for the youngster and a fun pony to feed when my nephews came to visit. She was never supposed to be more than a companion animal for my older horses, but she turned out to be so much more. Finding out that she was broke to ride and drive a cart were unexpected joys and her last years of life were probably the best she had ever had.

My little girl was an emaciated bag of bones when I found her. She probably wouldn't have lasted through the winter. Poor diet and a complete lack of any kind of equine dentistry left her with horrible mouth sores and a complete inability to chew her food. It took a year of expensive vet visits for her to come back from the brink, but she did it with a quiet determination and a ball-busting attitude that wouldn't allow for anyone to disturb her meals.

Last year she developed a new problem. After repeated and expensive trips to the vet for cronic choking I lost my little girl in March, only weeks after posting the chapter about the fictional pony that was based on her.

Then, not a month later, on Mother's Day I was forced to put down my best friend and long-time companion of 13 years, Casey. My German Shepard and I had spent almost every day together and had competed in dog sports for years before she retired. Her death was just as unexpected as Sophie's and left me sad for a long time.

The empty stall in the barn I go to three times a day and the empty bed beside mine have left a HUGE hole in my life. I have tried to pick up the story, as I still have all the ideas and scenes written down and planned out, but every time I try to write the next chapter in the story I get choked up. Now isn't the right time.

I have not and will not abandon the story, but for now I feel I have to break one of my own rules and put it on permanent hold.

I have other stuff in the works. In a matter of days I will be posting the first chapter in a three part mini fic that I was blackmailed into writing by Cris (aka @judo_lin) in order to get her to stop tweeting me horrificly terrifying pictures of spiders. It sounds rediculous, but the woman made me scream in the middle of a traffic jam. Getting a pic like that while you are at a dead stop in a topless jeep and scaring the guy in the car next to you with your shrieks is embarrassing. Something had to be done to stop the menace she was becoming.

The first story in a two part full length fiction is also close to being ready to start posting. It will be a new genre for me to post in the Harry Potter fandom but I am looking forward to it.

Also my first full length original novel is almost done. I have been told by a reliable (and unbiased) source that I should pursue getting it published so I will keep you posted on how that goes.

Well that is my fic life as it stands now. I know I may not be popular for making the decision to pull 9 of the 10 posted chapters of Learning to Live again and putting it on hiatus, but it is the only option for now. I will not apologize for loving my animals as if they are children, because to me they are. I need to be in the right head space to write something of quality and the subject matter (and my own sense of pride) will not allow me to post anything less than the best I am capable of.

I hope you will understand but if you don't, well I'm sorry you feel that way.

Until next time,

James Ramsey